a year ago, i joined hitRECord in a grand gesture 'to expand my horizons', etc. It was really an act of weakness-- I couldn't take on paying work anymore because I started dropping things, getting cramps & spasms from doing everyday things, I'd get tremors that'd sometimes last for days. I felt broken, unreliable & false when people wanted to talk shop.

I dunno what I thought it'd be like. I'd never really collaborated before; I thought it meant losing control. Since I was losing that anyway... I uploaded only things made for personal use, things I loved but was never going to get a chance to put them to use. I figured playing around with these RECorder's would placate artist-smartist self.

The word 'small' I doesn't begin to describe my thinking, but the word "Tiny" began to have a much better ring to it.

It's been a year; Fibromyalgia looks likely to be the culprit of my deterioration but with no really-for-real answer there is no satisfaction in the knowing this but there is satisfaction in getting this.

I hadn't seen it in print, so I wasn't certain. I hadn't known what I was getting into but then I never really do. I'm a published artist now, I'm handicapped, I am not giving up, I'm frightened everyday, I am certain this is not the end, I am grateful were it to be.

also, this guy here who signs my checks, you know My Boss is more Awesome than yours will ever be.
bhanesidhe: (dot-dot-dot [Sidhe])
( May. 28th, 2011 05:26 am)
Especially to the Girl at the Library, so into reading "City of Bones" she didn't stop to watch where she walked... (I can only assume you go to PS.95, because of how young & petite you are, although I went to MS.143 around the bend & couldn't have been an inch bigger. Apologies for not getting your name.)

Normally an internet embargo on my part means I'm up to artistic doings and preparing for a flood of creative-goodness. And maybe this is, in a lengthy roundabout distinctly unfun way— in November of 2010 I sought treatment for problems with my joints, specifically my wrists & knees. And in the logical progression, for the depression that would follow. By December (17th to be morbidly precise) tremors and weakness in my hands made it difficult if not impossible to brush teeth, comb hair, open doors, type and if you haven't guessed yet, draw.

Anyone local, or who saw me over New Years/MoCCA Artfest certainly noted I am sporting my time-tested knee & hand braces once more! Tried and true little buggers they are. But by February physical therapy was proven ineffective. Now all sorts of experts have started poking, Ortho, Vascular, Neurological, etc.

I've never been a super healthy person but even at my worst, I've always had art to keep my sane. Going into my seventh month of being incapable of creating, commuting or even computing, I don't think I've ever been so scared—
  • And then I get a praise from my ambulance driver ('sup Anesdi)
  • And then I get written up in a school paper.
  • And then get things like this forwarded to me; 
Phrases like "Courage" and "Fearless" aren't banter for me, they're works of art. Now I am learning "Faith" is as well.

Things are going to get harder before they get better but I feel like a fighter again.

Thank you for that :)
Things have been dour on the home front, by dour I mean dire.. and by dire I mean pathetic. I choose to spare you that--

....SO! In a preemptive attempt to put things right, spread a bit of positivity around, I've printed up some (New)Year of the Rabbit Card.
If you like a Postcard, e-mail/comment with your address and I'll send one along, that is till I run out of cards or my hand falls off :D
I made a handful of Calendar Magnets for 2011.
11-11-11 Calendar
actual size
I do it every year, love 'em, give 'em to friends/family. When the year is up just clip off the calendar bit and keep the picture. My desk-side cabinet has become a collage of random val!art covering years of the dents :)
I've a few [I think 10] left if anyone's interested?
  • Local is $3 a pop
  • Intl. more like $5
paypal vf@far-eviler.com

 *oh, If I has your address already, than I have your address already. No worries! =D
bhanesidhe: (For You | Mixed Tape)
( Dec. 31st, 2010 12:58 pm)
5 Songs On My iPod that Should Be On Yours )
Saying 'Thanks' isn't big enough. Holiday sentiments aren't grand enough. New Years wishes and festive hallmarks can't capture this thing, I'm caught up in. But for now, it'll have to do.

I wish you(rs) a Happy/Safe & Holiday Season! A joyful & wondrous Twenty-Elevenses, and Thanks! ♥
bhanesidhe: (Working)
( Dec. 22nd, 2010 11:11 pm)
Prizes Have Been Sent.
2010-Prizes (BEFORE)
2010-Prizes (AFTER)
I sincerely believe its unlucky to start a New Year with things left undone, except of course it's a complicated dance shipping to-and-fro just before Christmas. Lucky me that I managed it... but then lucky me always manages :)

Now, that my couch is finally clear, I'm thinking cat-nap. y/y?

(*happy sighs all around*)
Speaking on things inherently New York; how 'bout a public Appearance;

"ZOMBIES" is tomorrow theme for 30 Day Drawing Challenge, so if you're going to be in NYC, come to The Infernal Devices; Clockwork Angel book release/announcement event, where I will probably ask you to make your bestest zombie face :D

Actually, ~SupeRsquiTo-PouF and I will be there, hiding in plain sight, while Cassie Clare says a thing, in the after glow of Holly Black & Maureen Johnson being awesome, plus Prizes and Revelry! :boogie:
Barnes & Nobles in Store Event
Wednesday August 04, 2010 7:00 PM
Union Square
33 East 17th Street, New York, NY 10003, 212-253-0810
I would say, "If you can come, that'd be swell. If you can't... I hear someone will be someone will be live-streaming it, :XD:"  . . . BUT as someone on DeviantArt pointed out this is very likely to be the only thing (in the foreseeable future) where Nic, Cassie + my small s'Elf will be under the same roof!

So, if you have your copy of FCBD: City of Bones Comic I suggest you make the effort to come out. I'd promise not to bite but that option feels subjective.
year of the ox
I have people poking at my home. They will be doing so all week. She's been needing a facelift for some time now, it's all very exciting, in a head-achy sort of way. So, to be sure I'm not to forgetful I'll list a few things worth noting.
  • NY ComicCon is a go!* Deliberating on which kid(s) to bring.**
  • Leaving on the Feb 9th to Florida for ceremonious things. Back on the 17th.
  • Thinking of having an art-sale to keep me busy whilst I'm away....
  • ...only [livejournal.com profile] ali_wildgoose & [livejournal.com profile] heidi8 should really get back to me with specifics, since they're my only outstanding (which I haven't heard from)***.
  • Guess whats? I've got a President I can respect. Never thought I'd see the day. Also, I voted for him. Equally shocking realization, each and every single morning.
  • [livejournal.com profile] akickinthehead? Dude. While I predicted this, I'm still greatly saddened by it.Waaaah!
  • Sending postcards out late, but I made a variety of three kinds, so despite this image no one knows what they'll get. Stealthy!
  • This year? Already masses better than the last... and its just begun!
*Might have to miss Friday due to house pokings.
**How to choose? RL should have poll options for all things.
***Outstanding Commissions is the ban of my existence. Can't sleep, can't eat, muses'll eat me.


bhanesidhe: (Default)


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