bhanesidhe: (dot-dot-dot)
( Oct. 7th, 2004 07:52 pm)
Hey remember when I used to post like 4 & 5 times a day, everyday... yeah, me neither >.<
but I really did, back in 2001, *checks calender*

Art bores my R!L friends...
Real Life issues bore art-related friends...
...so conflicted, so much manga on the brain, so much with the lame I am...

What are things I should post about? *is exceptionally boring*



adds: Please, don't say chibi's. I'll totally bite you.
adds s'more: I own naked pictures of nothing except my horny cats, no one better want that ;_;
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I am a simple person, really...

1 - Ideas, once seemingly impossible, I expect everyday now. Paranoia? Probably, but even though they're significantly darker things, I feel like a better person for keeping it in consideration.
2 - I am a less forgiving person now, in general. Less angry as well, more compassionate even, not spiteful mind you... but I know what I need to have worth in and forgiveness isn't it.
3 - To this day, I still watch every plane that flies overhead until it passes from sight, convinced that I can keep it up there, safely, by sheer willpower and good thoughts. I'm convinced it helps. I am doing my part.
Will I feel obligated to always post on this day, every year? I think, yes. )
I find that when you're under the weather, you've a tendency to generate this whole negative field around you. And everything, EVERYTHING around you suffers from it.

I thought not posting and staying away from forums would spare everyone the headache, but even without being visible... people pick up on this (especially cats).
So, if all there is the negative juice for everyone to simmer in and nobody make it right, then there really is no way to put a stop to it, right? (just nod, and pretend I makes sense. Why yes, I have had way too many sleeping-pills lately.)

Regardless, like a PB&J sandwich you need the sticky bits as well sweet bits to make a whole.

So, good and bad, here's my low-down.
Health )

Work )

Manga )

Books )

Music )

Other Stuffs )

I'd like to hear yours.
I mean I read my friends page (and friendsfriends) and get little glimmers of goods and bads, but as a whole how are ya doin? Y'all are okay, right?
I'm having a sort of creative dilemma.

I have my lovely assistant here, and [livejournal.com profile] otemen is being indeed both most lovely and assisting, and together we've 1-2 pages done a day. It looks like I should be able to catch up in no time... art wise that is... dialogue and text are falling into background because I can't really write when people are around me.
Yes, it's childish, but that's just how I am. I get nervous and anxious when someone is near me while I'm trying to translate thoughts into text. I was never really good at making sense to anyone who isn't me, so... yeah.

So, four more pages are done, which brings me up to 20... but should I post them without text?
I like sharing the work and showing it, but the images will probably spoil things... or just not makes sense without words.
And if I go back sometime later and put text into them, I know me, I won't be bothered to re-post the images/links, because they'll be exactly the same physical links.
So if you didn't know to go look for the updated versions then you'd think I'd have simply made my comic a silent comic.

OR maybe I could have people guess what's going on, like a contest or something and input whatever entries I thought was funniest regardless of my story-line. ^_^

...but then I'd end up with sky-diving detectives wouldn't I?

So, maybe not.

Yes, I'm rambling.
Regardless, "Go, Me! Four Pages"

*does a jig*

I think maybe I'll just update in bulk when my lovely assistant leaves on Tuesday.

Awe, I miss torturing him already.
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Just spent the past five hours talking things out with disability peoples, discussing my aches and pains, and legs, and wrists; and the fact that it took them three years of ignoring it to acknowledge it. And I can almost say 'Chondromalacia" but I still prefer to say "I get owwies."
We talk about tests (which I like) and Doctors (which I don't).
Prospects and possibilities.

And I add, optimistically. "Ah, well at least with new doctors I can get them to figure what's going on with my right (writing/drawing) hand."

Services Lady - **points to hand in brace** "you mean that?"

I - **waggles proudly nifty brace** "Yeah, I'm hoping for Tendonitis!"

Services Lady - "Might be Carpal Tunnel."

I - "Ah, no you see Tendonitis. That I think I could function through, with school and art. If it were Carpal Tunnel I'd be mortified and have to kill myself!"

Services Lady - "See, I have Tendonitis, what you described. Sounds like Carpal Tunnel. Probably Carpal Tunnel, sorry **she adds in a particularly 'sucks-to-be-you' sort of tone**"

I - **is stunned** *_* <-- look stunned!

Services Lady - "Now just sign here, here and here and here and here and down here please."

I - **signing things** *_- <--I twitch when I'm stunned.

Services Lady - "Anything else you have questions on?"

I - "Yeah, if I do have Carpal Tunnel's you're not going to be all that surprised when I cut of my hand, stick it on a pike just to come over here and beat you to death with it?"

Services Lady - "really, no."

I - "yeah, then ...no I don't have anymore questions."


I'll take it in advisement that it may well be any one of these two things but will wait obligingly for professional medical assessments.

>.> In that same respect, you know in your heart it's just not a good sign when you can quote yourself as cheerfully saying, 'I'm hoping for Tendonitis!'

In case you need it spelled out for you, I will not be around on-line for a while.... a long while. In spirit maybe, you guys are always in my thoughts anyhow... but right now, it just hurts too much... so much so that now it's not even physical... and that scares me.

Physical pain I can deal.
That vast dark void of angsty self-indulgent pathetica I see rolling toward me is a road I'd rather avoid... but if I have to indulge I shall do it alone.

We need some positive cosmic force out there.
Come on, good thoughts people, good thoughts.
...cuz I'm just fresh out...
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